Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
