Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
