no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
