On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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