Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My Sexting was not on an AP level
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
