Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
