You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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