just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize