Screwed.edu
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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