had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize