we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
