You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
