I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Everyone says I win the strip club
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You ruined the universe
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
