I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
