i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
