JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
