we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
cat food counts as protein by the way
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
