I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
