i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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