He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Found your dick twin last night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
