yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
