I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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