i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
