People in love make me want to vomit
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have post one night stand depression
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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