There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
