3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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