Will you blow on my dice?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
