margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
