Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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