She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
