Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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