They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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