I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
