For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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