Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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