textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
