opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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