Can Purell be used as lube?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
