Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
