You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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