Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize