I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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