brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
