So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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