just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He has the fingertips of a God
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
