She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
