Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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