Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
