Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
