So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yo dont text me then not text me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
