I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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