Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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