so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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