Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
