its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
