i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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