i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
