It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
